


O Little Town Of Bethesda

by vyxythepixie



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Drabble, Fallout AU, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 11:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16872091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vyxythepixie/pseuds/vyxythepixie
Summary: Tony wants to bring a little Christmas cheer to the Commonwealth. His allied god of mischief pitches in.





	O Little Town Of Bethesda

**Author's Note:**

> First frostiron festive drabble. Dedicating this one to starkunlimited on Tumblr who first introduced me to the idea of crossing these two fandoms over. Based on threads we have together, I got inspired and wanted to make a little gift to the frostiron community.

“Hey, Sorcerer’s Apprentice, just how big are those pockets of yours?”

Tony rummaged through the shelves of the hardware store, chucking anything useless or broken over his shoulder. He wasn’t concerned about making a noise. They’d cleared out the few raiders mooching around the building and he had a Norse god as backup, which was frankly overkill when he was more than capable. In fact, the only reason he was admitting to bringing Loki along on this trip was because of his irritatingly useful magic.

“Big enough, Stark. If I can pick it up in one hand, I can store it away.”

“That is a disturbing answer,” the engineer replied, remembering all too well being lifted off his feet some 250 years ago plus change. “You can grab all that, that, those, everything in that pile there, make sure you get at least five of those. I’ll pack up some of the food our friends left.”

Loki set about taking the designated salvage, each item disappearing in a gleam of green, stashed in a pocket dimension that functioned, well,  _literally_  as a pocket. He grasped a coiled bundle of wires covered in LEDs, reeling in the stray ends. “It shouldn’t surprise me how much a few lights and symbols can cheer anyone on this bleak world. You’d think I would recognise the value of illusion.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. I wouldn’t have expected it. Me, I love the shining lights spectacular, the tackier the better. You? Aren’t you like the Asgardian Krampus?”

“The what?”

“Demon guy; Central European folklore; pops up at Christmas to spank the naughty children. You’ve got the horns and everything.”

“How high your opinion is of me,” Loki chuckled.

Tony moved to the back of the store, wrinkling his nose at the filthy mattresses he passed. Here there were coolers and boxes where the raiders had kept their supplies. He knelt down and stuffed whatever looked edible into his pack.

Concentrating on a particularly pesky tangle of fairy lights, Loki detected movement far too late. Something had crept in; something large that was quieter than it had any right to be. He whirled just in time to take a power suit fist to his face. The knight’s stealth field melted away. The god snarled, knife conjured in his hand, and attempted to leap up but an electrified net engulfed him and surged current until he collapsed.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Tony came running, gun in hand but held to one side, his other hand up in a gesture of treaty to the armoured Brother. “Hold the phone, rain check. What’re you doing?”

The knight aimed a gun of his own. “Brother Matthew calling in. I’ve got the alien,” came his radio-modulated voice. Apparently he wasn’t here for conversation.

“Er, excuse me, Tank Boy? Nice suit by the way, is that a T45? Pretty sure I had something to do with the design way back when. Shame I didn’t actually sell the rights for it, because, you know, enhancing the military stopped being my thing. Not that many followed by example. I mean, here we are, Capital Wasteland. Anyway, that’s actually my alien. He’s not part of the Christmas sale, sorry. There’s a group of supers a couple of blocks away, they’re buy one get one free.”

The gleaming eyes of the Brother’s helmet fixed upon Stark. “The entity known as Loki will be taken into our custody. His knowledge is prohibited.”

“Look, since you’re clearly gonna preach the ‘inhuman has no rights here’ book at me, I’m gonna have to tell you that makes him my intellectual property. Seriously, annoyingly intellectual; but still mine. And you’re stealing it. You can’t have him.”

Disinterested, the power suit began to stomp away, dragging the god-shaped haul with it. Tony brought up his gun and was forced to dive away from the return shot of a laser pistol. The engineer sighed and activated a switch on his modified Pip Boy. In seconds he was encased in his infamous armour.

He sprang up and aimed his repulsors. The Brother fired at him. Tony blasted the gun from his hand. From the floor, a hand shot out from the net and grasped the Brother’s armoured leg. It squeezed, buckling the metal in its grip. Tony propelled toward his opponent and punched the helmet. They tussled with heavy fists, each smashing dents into the other. Tony’s prehensile suit fingers grasped the helmet and yanked it free. He aimed a repulsor at the Brother’s exposed face.

“Hi there, Matt. You don’t mind if I call you Matt, right? Let him go, he might let  _you_  go, and since ‘tis the season of goodwill, I won’t come visit your priestly little bunker.”

“You’re making a mistake,” the man hissed.

“Oh, so what else is new? Go on, skedaddle before I take your fusion core and make you run through mutant territory in your pants.”

The Brother bared his teeth and pulled away. Loki released his hold and let the man leave. The god grumbled as he extracted himself from the net and got to his feet, still covered in fairy lights. Unable to resist once he saw it dangling, Tony pinched the plug, his suit adapting to offer a power source. Loki’s lights lit up. Concealed by his suit, Tony cracked a smile.

Giving Tony a sour look, Loki freed himself from the decorations and waved a hand toward the open doorway.

“Uhh,” said Tony, deactivating his armour. “What did you just do?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t you be shitting me. C’mon, what did you do. Loki?”

“Might I suggest we go to the roof?”

Tony sighed. He hated taking the bait but he was curious. Snatching the pack he had been filling, he went through the store’s back and up the stairs, Loki following with an air of smug. When he stepped out onto the roof he heard a radio-muffled scream. Hurrying to the edge, he watched a pack of Deathclaws blunder onto the scene, chasing after the hapless member of the Brotherhood of Steel. The man wasn’t bothering to try to shoot them when there were so many. He shrieked for a pickup, surely unable to outrun the monsters. Fortunate for him that they kept bumping into one another in an attempt to get at him, kept missing when they lunged, kept getting distracted by ghouls that came racing into the fray. Even more fortunate that none of it was real.

Tony laughed. “You really are a terrible person.”

“Not even a little. I could have sounded a mating call and had him pursued by real ones.”

“Yeah, no, thanks. Don’t fancy having to clean up the mess. Especially if that mess is me.”

As they looked on, a group of super mutants appeared on the street below, rushing to investigate the noise. Tony grinned.

“Stark, they’re not mine,” Loki warned.

“Oh, shit.”

The brutes dashed at the Deathclaws without a care, baffling themselves and the fleeing Brother as the illusions shattered upon contact. They flailed at snarling ghouls, only for them to turn to mist. Both parties annoyed at the deception, they began shooting at each other. The commotion continued off down the street and the two on the roof breathed a sigh of relief.

Loki and Tony looked at one another, beginning to smile.

There was a beeping sound and the heavy thud of feet. They turned to see a super mutant suicider bull rushing toward them, strapped with timed explosives. There was no time for Tony to suit up. Loki leapt at Stark, pulling him into his arms as he flung himself from the roof, just as the bomb exploded at his back.

\-----

“And thus concluded the Christmas raid!”

Surrounded by cheerful, inebriated citizens of Goodneighbor, Tony raised a bottle of bourbon. The crowd clapped and hooted, well-fed and enjoying the festive fete that had been set up in the thoroughfare. Colourful bulbs hung along the roofs and tinsel from the repaired streetlights; a buffet spread upon a table; people danced and sang carols. Stark celebrated well into the early hours of Christmas Eve, entertaining the masses with stories and his typically flirtatious air.

When he finally excused himself, he retired to his complimentary room at the Rexford. Of course it wasn’t just for him.

“I thought you would’ve been gagging to see your adoring public. You were there, what, an hour?” He snorted at the figure on the bed, tripping over his feet a little as he shut the door and traipsed in.

Loki peered over the dog-eared book in his hands. “This was your victory, Stark. You are the one they idolise. Besides, did you not say you wanted me to avoid any ‘megalomaniacal power trips’?”

“Yeah, I also said you’re sleeping on the couch.” He waved his hands emphatically at the god. “Scoot.” He didn’t wait for Loki to move before he faceplanted on the sheets.

“I am not yet sleeping.” Loki, for his part, did not budge.

Tony scraped his face along the mattress, turning it to face Loki. “You know what I mean.” He stared at the god for a few long beats of silence, eyes bourbon-glazed. Eventually he spoke again. “Thank you. For what you did today. You did good. Being a pack mule and getting us off that roof in one piece. Helping bring the spirit to the Wasteland. You know, I always hated Christmas.”

“Yes, you have mentioned.”

“Have I?”

“At least six times on the way to the shop.”

“Oh, well. _Still_. I hated it but this is one of the best I ever had. So, yeah, thanks.” He gave a lethargic thumbs-up.

“You’re welcome.”

A few seconds later had Tony narrowing his eyes. He rolled onto his side, levering himself up. “Don’t think this makes us friends, though. You’ve still got eight shades of hell to get through before I even consider trusting you.”

Loki turned a page. “Very well.”

“And really, that super mutant business? That was all you. We wouldn’t have attracted their attention if you hadn’t pulled that revenge shit on the Brotherhood, who, thanks by the way, will now probably try to kill me on sight to get at you.”

“As I recall,” Loki replied, still not looking at Tony, “you were the one claiming me to be your _property_. Not the first time you’ve done that, either. I should make you regret it.”

“No, you should be thanking me. And getting the hell off my bed.”

Loki closed the book. “Exactly how much do you hate this winter tradition?”

“Ugh. Why?”

Loki grinned and flicked a glance upward to a sprig of mistletoe.

Tony scrambled back and fell off the edge of the bed. “Fuck that!” he blurted. “Nope. No, a hundred times no and fuck you.” He picked himself up while the god cackled. “Yeah, ha ha. I want it gone and you off.”

“It’s only a plant.”

“You know full well what that is. And don’t think I haven’t read up about you. Mythology has a lot to say about Loki and his dealings with mistletoe.”

“It’s an interesting story. Quite untrue. There hasn’t been anyone called Baldr on Asgard in my lifetime.”

“Right, fine, just get rid of it.”

“If you’re so opposed to it, it seems I’m able to keep the bed.”

“Oh, whatever.” Tony threw up his hands and flopped onto the sofa with his back to the god, ignoring his snickering. “You’re a pain in the ass. When we get back to the Tower, you’re answering all of Garvey’s messages. You can go earn brownie points and traipse all over the Commonwealth and get your stupid face away from me for a while.”

Loki only chuckled more. He put his book on the bedside table and turned off the lamp, settling down at least in the pretense of sleep.

A minute of silence.

“Fuck it.”

The silhouette on the sofa bolted across the room and dived upon the shape on the bed. Needy hands grasped and squeezed, lips crashed between wanton gasps, limbs tangling, mortal and less mortal bodies pressed tight. They fought for dominance as much as removing clothes.

“Thank you, Stark.” Growled softly, with feeling.

“Shut up, Krampus, and spank me.”


End file.
